I feel like writing again. It's been four months of hiatus, and there are things I need to pen. Why? not necessarily for anyone else, although I'm going to let you in on what I'm thinking. No, mostly it's for me because I feel the pleasure of God when I write, and I understand things and retain what I've learned through reflection when I put them on a page. Are you like that too?
Some of you read my last Daily Grace and Truth devotional on January 26, 2009 when I compared my self-imposed sabbatical to Forrest Gump's cessation of running. Remember the movie? He runs, and runs, and runs, and increasing numbers of inspired followers run along and run behind. Then, in the middle of nowhere, U.S.A. he stops. The followers look quizzically at each other and then ask, "Why did you stop?" Forrest answers simply, "I don't feel like running anymore." Well that's what happened and it's been a good break. But my heart is calling me back to share a few more thoughts about my journey, and I hope in comments, emails, calls, etc. that you will share yours.
In a nutshell I am excited about the status of my journey to know God and to have a vibrant, real, satisfying and exciting relationship with Jesus. Honestly, I've been mad at God for not doing what I want Him to do, but thankfully He is breaking through with some truths about who He really is and how He really feels about me that is making all the difference to the point that what does or doesn't happen in terms of provisions for living or 'success' in ministry doesn't matter. What I am learning is this: He loves me. He always has and always will. What He allows and orchestrates in my life is part of the story He is writing for His Glory, and only He knows the script and the end. My part is to enjoy living loved so that I can live loving and love living. What I am learning about this is what I intend to post in this blog.
Are you on the journey?
The writing and speaking of several men has been instrumental for this segment of the journey: Wayne Jacobsen and Brad Cummings, www.thegodjourney.com (podcast), and books, especially "He Loves Me" (www.lifestream.org, free pdf or hardcopy), and Tom Wymore, www.tomwymore.blogspot.com.
I'm planning to write as God nudges me. That might be every few days or it might be several times a day. Not sure what He'll do, and that's part of the joy of the journey.
See you on the road,
Jeff
Reflections about a Dying? Pastor
10 years ago
Jeff,
ReplyDeleteYes! I'm on the journey. Nope! Can't say that I feel His pleasure when I write, but I definitely feel it when I see the dots connect as I reflect/glean from life, and then out of that facilitate or catalyze someone else's journey. I am so glad God has purposed for you to write; gives me & others a chance to grow from your reflections. I also appreciate you modeling a hiatus from the things we're called to. I'm curious, was that a bit of the being/doing cycle (principle)? I think my new favorite quote is your piece on "...living loved so that I can live loving and love living." Blessings!
Welcome back. I think you'll enjoy the blog format, although having feedback is sometimes a double-edged sword. Be blessed.
ReplyDeleteLoved the movie and glad to be reminded of some of the remarkable simple things Forrest said. Somthing about living simple and living loved that go together well. Enjoy the journey.
ReplyDeleteJeff,
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. Live loving and love living. So simple, yet so hard to do. I look forward to your insights on the journey...as always.
Hi Karen, thank you for encouragement. I am humbled that you glean helpful things from my reflections.
ReplyDeleteYes, the being/doing cycle has been significant in my decision-making about what to do/not do, and most importantly to not try to do. I've been a rabid/compulsive doer all my life, and it has worked very well and has been rewarded. BUT, when career, marriage and family and relationship with God all hit the wall in 2005 (culture shock from a move, career challenges) it was like a high-speed train going from 100mph to 0 in an instant, and that was very disillusioning AND uncomfortable. It was the first time in my life that strength, determination and sheer force of will didn't work. But, I'd prayed to be over my head and out of my comfort zone in a way that would put an end to self-willed achievement and instead put me/us (Jill prayed it too) so far over our heads that the old way of doing things (self-will, intellect, work ethic) wouldn't work. What was I thinking?
So, understanding of cycles/seasons of being/doing has been huge in understanding that this is ok; that it is a way God processes and prepares people. That He orchestrates seasons of being quiet with Him, with little to do as He builds Himself deeper into our souls and gives us the gift of Himself. Ps 73 - Who do I have in Heaven but you...
Jeff
*Oh, Tony Stoltzfus's new books, A Leader's Life Purpose Handbook and Workbook deal with this in a brilliant way, www.coach22.com.